February 12, 2021 Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls EDMONTON — BioWare has announced a compromise for Mass Effect fans upset about the removal of various butt shots in the Legendary Editions, giving Commander…
February 8, 2021 Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass EDMONTON — Following negative responses to their initial statement, a Bioware press release has revealed their new decision to imprint a disclaimer on Miranda’s butt…
December 13, 2020 Groundbreaking RPG Gives Player Moral Conundrum With Dozens of Ways to Say ‘Yes’ Groundbreaking RPG Gives Player Moral Conundrum With Dozens of Ways to Say ‘Yes’ EDMONTON, Alberta — Developer Bioware has announced that their latest Mass Effect game will be the deepest dive into moral dilemmas yet, featuring more ways…
July 14, 2020 ‘Mass Effect’ Fan Skeptical That Their Choice in Presidential Election Will Influence Ending ‘Mass Effect’ Fan Skeptical That Their Choice in Presidential Election Will Influence Ending RIVERTON, Wyo. — Avid Mass Effect fan Martin Shore plans to opt out of voting in the upcoming 2020 presidential election, citing skepticism that his…
February 10, 2020 Mass Effect Devs Still Waiting for Anybody to Find the Secret ‘No Sex’ Ending Mass Effect Devs Still Waiting for Anybody to Find the Secret ‘No Sex’ Ending EDMONTON — Nearly eight years after the release of Mass Effect 3, Canadian game developers at BioWare were baffled that not a single person had…
June 10, 2019 Casey Hudson Visits Terminally Ill Teen to Tell Him in Person There Will Be No ‘KOTOR 3’ Casey Hudson Visits Terminally Ill Teen to Tell Him in Person There Will Be No ‘KOTOR 3’ BALTIMORE — As part of his involvement with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, BioWare General Manager Casey Hudson visited terminal bone cancer patient Todd Franklin, 16, in…
April 30, 2019 BioWare Reveals Cryptic Timer to Tease Employee Layoffs BioWare Reveals Cryptic Timer to Tease Employee Layoffs EDMONTON, Alberta — BioWare revealed today that a mysterious countdown image which has adorned its website for the past week has in fact been ticking…
April 2, 2019 EA Assures Gamers BioWare Not Dead, Just Going Upstate to Live on Video Game Farm EA Assures Gamers BioWare Not Dead, Just Going Upstate to Live on Video Game Farm REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — This morning, EA told fans of BioWare, the developer of Anthem and Mass Effect: Andromeda, that the company will not be…
March 5, 2019 Anthem Set in Fantasy World Where Freelancers Are Valued Anthem Set in Fantasy World Where Freelancers Are Valued EDMONTON, Alberta — Despite receiving criticism for its excessive loot grind, lack of content and “bricking” PCs and consoles, BioWare’s Anthem has become a major…
