bethesda

Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves IndividuallyTodd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually

Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually

LOS ANGELES — Todd Howard expressed regret that Bethesda’s E3 showcase was only about an hour long, because he would…

4 years ago
Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the OfficeDoomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office

Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office

REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at…

4 years ago
Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires LuigiNintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…

4 years ago
Amazon Takes Shot at 37% Chance of HitAmazon Takes Shot at 37% Chance of Hit

Amazon Takes Shot at 37% Chance of Hit

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — After much deliberation, Amazon Studios has decided to pull the trigger on developing a show based…

5 years ago
Skyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 PercentSkyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 Percent

Skyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 Percent

ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks announced a new “Pandemic Update” for their hit RPG, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, in…

5 years ago
Bethesda Announces New $1200 Definitive Skyrim EditionBethesda Announces New $1200 Definitive Skyrim Edition

Bethesda Announces New $1200 Definitive Skyrim Edition

ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda has announced a new definitive version of the popular video game Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, to…

5 years ago
Todd Howard Delays Elder Scrolls VI Due to ‘Corona-18 or Whatever’Todd Howard Delays Elder Scrolls VI Due to ‘Corona-18 or Whatever’

Todd Howard Delays Elder Scrolls VI Due to ‘Corona-18 or Whatever’

ROCKVILLE, Md. — At a press conference held earlier today, Bethesda director Todd Howard was relieved to announce that the…

5 years ago
Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or WhateverTodd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever

Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever

BETHESDA, Md. — Bethesda Softworks CEO Todd Howard reportedly sent a message to The Outer Worlds developer Obsidian late yesterday…

5 years ago