bethesda

Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually

LOS ANGELES — Todd Howard expressed regret that Bethesda’s E3 showcase was only about an hour long, because he would…

3 years ago

Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office

REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at…

4 years ago

Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…

4 years ago

Amazon Takes Shot at 37% Chance of Hit

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — After much deliberation, Amazon Studios has decided to pull the trigger on developing a show based…

4 years ago

Skyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 Percent

ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks announced a new “Pandemic Update” for their hit RPG, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, in…

4 years ago

Bethesda Announces New $1200 Definitive Skyrim Edition

ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda has announced a new definitive version of the popular video game Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, to…

4 years ago

Todd Howard Delays Elder Scrolls VI Due to ‘Corona-18 or Whatever’

ROCKVILLE, Md. — At a press conference held earlier today, Bethesda director Todd Howard was relieved to announce that the…

5 years ago

Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever

BETHESDA, Md. — Bethesda Softworks CEO Todd Howard reportedly sent a message to The Outer Worlds developer Obsidian late yesterday…

5 years ago