June 15, 2021 Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually LOS ANGELES — Todd Howard expressed regret that Bethesda’s E3 showcase was only about an hour long, because he would have loved the chance to…
March 28, 2021 Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at the office after realizing they…
September 21, 2020 Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it had acquired Luigi. “How is…
August 5, 2020 Amazon Takes Shot at 37% Chance of Hit Amazon Takes Shot at 37% Chance of Hit SANTA MONICA, Calif. — After much deliberation, Amazon Studios has decided to pull the trigger on developing a show based on the best selling video…
June 12, 2020 Everything We Know About Elder Scrolls 6 Everything We Know About Elder Scrolls 6 Nothing.
May 30, 2020 Skyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 Percent Skyrim ‘Pandemic Update’ Increases Shout Damage by 1,000 Percent ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda Softworks announced a new “Pandemic Update” for their hit RPG, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, in which the player character will…
May 26, 2020 Bethesda Announces New $1200 Definitive Skyrim Edition Bethesda Announces New $1200 Definitive Skyrim Edition ROCKVILLE, Md. — Bethesda has announced a new definitive version of the popular video game Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, to be released exclusively in North…
May 6, 2020 Todd Howard Delays Elder Scrolls VI Due to ‘Corona-18 or Whatever’ Todd Howard Delays Elder Scrolls VI Due to ‘Corona-18 or Whatever’ ROCKVILLE, Md. — At a press conference held earlier today, Bethesda director Todd Howard was relieved to announce that the highly anticipated Elder Scrolls VI…
November 6, 2019 Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever Todd Howard Sends Late Night DM Just Asking Obsidian How They’ve Been or Whatever BETHESDA, Md. — Bethesda Softworks CEO Todd Howard reportedly sent a message to The Outer Worlds developer Obsidian late yesterday evening, just to see what…
