bernie sanders

DNC Unplugs Bernie’s ControllerDNC Unplugs Bernie’s Controller

DNC Unplugs Bernie’s Controller

DES MOINES, Iowa — In a tight caucus match late last night, the DNC pulled out Senator Bernie Sanders' controller…

5 years ago
Nation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth CatchingNation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth Catching

Nation Not Sure Normal-Type Candidate Even Worth Catching

CEDAR RAPIDS, Mich. — After months of deliberation during a contentious Democratic primary, voters are beginning to wonder whether a…

6 years ago
Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get a Turn on the PlayStationBernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get a Turn on the PlayStation

Bernie Sanders Promises All Little Brothers Will Get Turn on the PlayStation

CONCORD, N.H. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced his “Gaming for All” legislative plan, which would provide government-backed equal play…

6 years ago
This Is How Bernie Sanders Can Still Beat Avatar’s Box Office RecordThis Is How Bernie Sanders Can Still Beat Avatar’s Box Office Record

This Is How Bernie Sanders Can Still Beat Avatar’s Box Office Record

This much is clear: Bernie Sanders is the only politician championing millennial nerds. From being the top sword-guy candidate to…

6 years ago
Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders Practice Fusion Dance For Hours in Attempt to Merge Into Ideal CandidateElizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders Practice Fusion Dance For Hours in Attempt to Merge Into Ideal Candidate

Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders Practice Fusion Dance For Hours in Attempt to Merge Into Ideal Candidate

KAMI’S LOOKOUT — Sweating and breathing heavily from their strenuous efforts, sources confirmed Wednesday that Senator Elizabeth Warren and Senator…

6 years ago
I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than HimI’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him

I’m Voting For Bernie Sanders Unless Another Candidate Proves They Have More Swords Than Him

The 2020 Democratic Primary race is shaping up to be a cutthroat march to the nomination. Well, it was, until…

6 years ago