batman

Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It

I'm not normally vocal about the public affairs of Gotham. My place is the private sector and I’m just a…

3 years ago

New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark

BURBANK, Calif. — DC Comics has announced the newest iteration of Batman, who will navigate through the cold, dark streets…

4 years ago

Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on Guy

GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to…

4 years ago

HBO Execs Convinced to Release Snyder Cut After Realizing All Their Mothers’ Names Are Martha

BURBANK, Calif. — Top HBO executives became convinced to release the famous “Snyder Cut” of 2017’s Justice League after realizing…

4 years ago

Riddler Tricks Batman Into Attending His Open Mic Set

GOTHAM — The Caped Crusader has once again successfully interpreted The Riddler’s esoteric clues and thwarted his latest caper, a…

5 years ago

Adult Man Still Furious About Decade-Old Movie For Teen Girls

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — 37-year-old man Kris Lusk is still angry about the Twilight series of films, which ended seven years…

5 years ago

Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time

GOTHAM CITY — Villainous flunky Thomas O’Dowd remains steadfast in his belief that, despite the frequency at which Batman thwarts…

5 years ago

Tragic: Guy on Message Board Could Have Saved Telltale

Wow, a heartbreaking story just got a whole lot more heartbreaking. As you may know, only days ago, Telltale Games…

6 years ago