June 26, 2021 Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It Opinion: I Think Batman Does Eat Pussy and He’s Really Fucking Good At It I’m not normally vocal about the public affairs of Gotham. My place is the private sector and I’m just a random businessman. While I don’t…
August 4, 2020 New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark New Version of Batman Screams Constantly to Navigate in the Dark BURBANK, Calif. — DC Comics has announced the newest iteration of Batman, who will navigate through the cold, dark streets of Gotham by screaming continuously.…
July 5, 2020 Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy Gotham Rules Batman Can Only Break One Limb on a Guy GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to only breaking a single limb…
May 21, 2020 HBO Execs Convinced to Release Snyder Cut After Realizing All Their Mothers’ Names Are Martha HBO Execs Convinced to Release Snyder Cut After Realizing All Their Mothers’ Names Are Martha BURBANK, Calif. — Top HBO executives became convinced to release the famous “Snyder Cut” of 2017’s Justice League after realizing at a recent board meeting…
November 27, 2019 We Tried to Find the Snyder Cut and Now We’re Not Even Sure if Zack Snyder Himself Exists We Tried to Find the Snyder Cut and Now We’re Not Even Sure if Zack Snyder Himself Exists
May 25, 2019 Riddler Tricks Batman Into Attending His Open Mic Set Riddler Tricks Batman Into Attending His Open Mic Set GOTHAM — The Caped Crusader has once again successfully interpreted The Riddler’s esoteric clues and thwarted his latest caper, a stand up comedy set at…
May 17, 2019 Adult Man Still Furious About Decade-Old Movie For Teen Girls Adult Man Still Furious About Decade-Old Movie For Teen Girls TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — 37-year-old man Kris Lusk is still angry about the Twilight series of films, which ended seven years ago and was intended to…
November 27, 2018 Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time GOTHAM CITY — Villainous flunky Thomas O’Dowd remains steadfast in his belief that, despite the frequency at which Batman thwarts the activity of criminals in…
September 25, 2018 Tragic: Guy on Message Board Could Have Saved Telltale Tragic: Guy on Message Board Could Have Saved Telltale Wow, a heartbreaking story just got a whole lot more heartbreaking. As you may know, only days ago, Telltale Games announced to unsuspecting employees that…
