assassin’s creed

Man Asks If You Played Recently Released Game Like You’re Made of Fucking Money

WALTHAM, Mass. — Sources have reported that local gamer Keif MacEachern recently inquired if you’ve purchased the most recent Assassin’s…

6 years ago

Study Suggests Link Between Violent Video Games and Some Goddamn Time to Myself for One Night

WORCESTER, Mass. — A new landmark study published today by my fiancée and son suggests a strong link between violent…

7 years ago

College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle…

7 years ago