apple

Tim Cook Announces “We Decided to Make the iPhone Worse This Time”

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook astonished Silicon Valley with a promise to disregard customers’ high expectations at this…

4 years ago

Apple Announces Twenty Dollar Bill That Will Cost Fifty Dollars

SEATTLE — Apple’s latest addition to its signature line of products was revealed today, an American twenty dollar bill whose…

4 years ago

Fortnite Season 4 Map Adds Steve Jobs’ Grave

CARY, N.C. — The map for Fortnite’s upcoming 4th season has been revealed, and it features wacky new locations such…

4 years ago

Gamers Riot in Streets to Ensure Epic Gets Better Revenue Sharing Deal With Apple

SEATTLE — In response to the escalating tension between Apple and Epic, masses of angry gamers have taken to the…

4 years ago

John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video

LOS ANGELES — Epic Games has furthered their legal battle with Apple by releasing a video featuring John Hodgman and…

4 years ago

New Apple iLadder Lets You Look Down on Your Poor Friends

CUPERTINO, Calif. — During his WWDC keynote speech this morning, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced the iLadder, a new product…

6 years ago

Apple’s New Streaming Service Boldly Removes Your TV’s HDMI Ports

CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple announced their long-awaited new streaming service Apple TV+ during a keynote address at the company’s headquarters…

6 years ago