May 28, 2020 Ash Ketchum’s Mom Doesn’t Have the Heart to Tell Him His Original Pikachu Died 6 Years Ago Ash Ketchum’s Mom Doesn’t Have the Heart to Tell Him His Original Pikachu Died 6 Years Ago KANTO — Local mother Delia Ketchum reportedly doesn’t have the heart to tell her son Ash that his beloved Pikachu is the sixth in a…
May 23, 2020 Man Only Watches Anime for the Food Man Only Watches Anime for the Food SYOSSET, N.Y. — Self-described otaku Eric Campbell admitted recently that he only watches anime for their delicious depictions of food, sources confirmed. “I can’t tell…
May 10, 2020 Anime Mom Struggles Every Day to Not Die for Her Child’s Tragic Backstory Anime Mom Struggles Every Day to Not Die for Her Child’s Tragic Backstory SHINJUKU, Japan — Local anime mother Ruka Hanae is struggling every day to avoid dying a horrible death that would inevitably be woven into a…
April 25, 2020 Donald Trump Recommends All Americans Inject Themselves With Bleach Donald Trump Recommends All Americans Inject Themselves With Bleach WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recommended Americans inject hit 2004 anime Bleach into their veins in order to prevent the spread of COVID-19, according to…
April 18, 2020 Vegeta Presents Goku with Lifetime Achievement Honor at Crunchyroll Awards Vegeta Presents Goku with Lifetime Achievement Honor at Crunchyroll Awards LOS ANGELES — Saiyan prince Vegeta awarded his lifelong collaborator and occasional enemy Goku with the Lifetime Achievement Award last night at the annual Crunchyroll…
April 7, 2020 Study Shows Average Anime High School Student Needs 9 Seasons to Graduate Study Shows Average Anime High School Student Needs 9 Seasons to Graduate KYOTO, Japan — A troubling new study from the University of Hidari Wakibara has found that it takes a typical anime student at least nine…
April 6, 2020 How to Tell If Your Children Are Watching Dubs Instead of Subs How to Tell If Your Children Are Watching Dubs Instead of Subs With thousands of kids stuck at home during the pandemic, many parents have discovered a disturbing trend in their children’s binge-watching habits. Many impressionable children…
March 29, 2020 Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc Dad Worried Son Views Weekend Custody as Filler Arc BETHPAGE, N.Y. — After multiple failed attempts at connecting with his son, single father Frank Corbin has reportedly begun to worry that his weekend custody…
March 21, 2020 I’m Willing to Abandon My Anti-War Views In Exchange for a Gundam I’m Willing to Abandon My Anti-War Views In Exchange for a Gundam I have staunch anti-war views, sure. I don’t think that’s unique among young people in America. In many ways I’m just an average, too-old-to-be-drafted kind…
