April 1, 2020 Blathers Gladly Accepts Giant Rabbit Skeleton ‘Fossil’ for Museum Blathers Gladly Accepts Giant Rabbit Skeleton ‘Fossil’ for Museum YOUBERG ISLAND — Local museum curator Blathers recently acquired a new set of bones for the island, the skeleton of a large rabbit, and reportedly…
March 28, 2020 Gamer Sets Clock Ahead 3 Months to Skip Past Pandemic Gamer Sets Clock Ahead 3 Months to Skip Past Pandemic ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local gamer Freddy Strickland has changed all the clocks in his apartment to early July in order to skip past the COVID-19…
March 20, 2020 Something Fishy About Private ‘Animal Crossing’ Island That Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Prince Andrew Keep Visiting Something Fishy About Private ‘Animal Crossing’ Island That Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Prince Andrew Keep Visiting NEW HORIZONS — Those playing the newly released Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the Nintendo Switch noted that there was something odd going on with…
March 19, 2020 Animal Crossing Delayed Indefinitely After Gulliver Washes Up on Shore With COVID-19 Animal Crossing Delayed Indefinitely After Gulliver Washes Up on Shore With COVID-19 KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo made the difficult decision to delay Animal Crossing: New Horizons indefinitely after Gulliver washed up on shore carrying the coronavirus early…
March 15, 2020 Bernie Sanders Calls on Nintendo to Release Animal Crossing Early Bernie Sanders Calls on Nintendo to Release Animal Crossing Early BURLINGTON, Vt. — In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, Senator Bernie Sanders has called on Nintendo to preemptively release the much-anticipated Animal Crossing: New…
September 14, 2018 Opinion: When I Say Eat The Rich, That Includes Tom Nook Opinion: When I Say Eat The Rich, That Includes Tom Nook We are currently in the downward spiral known as Late Stage Capitalism and it’s time something got done about it. Obviously these capitalistic fucks will…
