October 21, 2020 Jeb Bush Picks Horrible Night to Start Twitch Channel Jeb Bush Picks Horrible Night to Start Twitch Channel TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Famously unremarkable politician and former presidential nominee Jeb Bush began his new Twitch stream tonight in an unprecedented failure, debuting the same…
October 19, 2020 Roommate Ejected From Apartment After Lying About Finishing ‘Dishes’ Task Roommate Ejected From Apartment After Lying About Finishing ‘Dishes’ Task NEW YORK — Local roommate Phil Darrow was ejected from his apartment after his friends discovered that he had lied about completing his dishes task.…
October 16, 2020 Gamer Downloads Hot New Multiplayer Game Just in Time for Friends to Move On Gamer Downloads Hot New Multiplayer Game Just in Time for Friends to Move On BANGOR, Maine — Local gamer Ned Price finally downloaded a multiplayer game his friends have been playing nonstop for weeks, only to discover that they’ve…
October 8, 2020 Opinion: It Is Literally Impossible for Me to Be the Impostor Opinion: It Is Literally Impossible for Me to Be the Impostor Okay, first off, I don’t even know why we’re having this Emergency Meeting. Don’t get me wrong, Yellow’s death is a tragedy, and we’re all…
September 24, 2020 Psychologists Warn 1 in 10 Crewmates Could Develop Impostor Syndrome Psychologists Warn 1 in 10 Crewmates Could Develop Impostor Syndrome NEW YORK — Researchers at Columbia University have published a paper which warns that roughly 10% of all spaceship crewmates could develop impostor syndrome. “It’s…
