June 21, 2021 Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast Man Rereading ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ to Prepare for Release of Book 6 Worried His One-Page-a-Day Pace Too Fast ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local fantasy fan Geoffrey Parsons is reportedly worried that his A Song of Ice and Fire reread, in which he reads one…
October 6, 2020 Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths Local Wedding Linked to 3,500 Deaths WESTEROS — Following an exhaustive contact tracing study, a recent Riverlands wedding has been linked to 3,500 deaths, sources report. “The band had just finished…
December 6, 2019 Stephen King Bangs Out ‘The Winds of Winter’ on a Tuesday for Shits and Giggles Stephen King Bangs Out ‘The Winds of Winter’ on a Tuesday for Shits and Giggles BANGOR, Maine — Prolific horror writer Stephen King reportedly penned the long-anticipated sixth book in George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire…
May 22, 2019 Thousands of Parents Now Regret Naming Their Children ‘Game of Thrones’ Thousands of Parents Now Regret Naming Their Children ‘Game of Thrones’ UNITED STATES — Following the series finale of HBO’s massively successful series, parents around the nation are feeling remorse and humiliation after naming their children…
May 19, 2019 Campaign Finishes Three-Year Run Without DM Campaign Finishes Three-Year Run Without DM BELFAST, Ireland – Players of a local fantasy role-playing game expressed relief and exhaustion today after completing their campaign, ending a three-year run without a…
May 19, 2019 ‘Game of Thrones’ Prepares for Final Climactic Clash Between Those Who Think It’s Still Good and Those Who Think It Sucks Dick Now ‘Game of Thrones’ Prepares for Final Climactic Clash Between Those Who Think It’s Still Good and Those Who Think It Sucks Dick Now NEW YORK — As HBO’s hit show Game of Thrones comes to a conclusion, fans are preparing for the grand finale, featuring one last all-out…
May 17, 2019 Inept Hacker Leaks Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 4 Inept Hacker Leaks Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 4 GHENT, Belgium — Notably awful hacker Nicolas Peeters successfully leaked an episode of the hit HBO show Game of Thrones today, but was only able…
May 7, 2019 Game of Thrones Finale to Kill Off Millions of HBO Subscriptions Game of Thrones Finale to Kill Off Millions of HBO Subscriptions NEW YORK — In response to viewer complaints HBO had become too reluctant to dispatch high-profile characters on Game of Thrones, the show’s producers revealed…
May 10, 2018 Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To Opinion: Listen Up Fuckfaces, I’ll Write Whenever The Goddamn Fuck I Want To Listen up, you pathetic little nerdy fucklits: my name is George Raymond Richard Martin, and I’ll write whenever and whatever the goddamn fuck I want.…
