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Horrified Mario Regrets Triple Jumping Into H.R. Giger PaintingHorrified Mario Regrets Triple Jumping Into H.R. Giger Painting

Horrified Mario Regrets Triple Jumping Into H.R. Giger Painting

METRO KINGDOM — Local adventurer Mario Mario is allegedly trapped inside an unsettling painting by modern artist H.R. Giger after…

5 years ago
5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors

5 Reasons Why We Still Don’t Believe Those ‘3D Mario Collection’ Rumors

By now you’ve seen the rumors: a collection of some of Mario’s greatest 3D adventures are supposedly going to be…

5 years ago
Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little CheeksGrandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks

Grandma Playing Super Mario 64 Can’t Get Past Part Where You Endlessly Pull Mario’s Cute Little Cheeks

PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — Local grandma Meredith Blum has been stuck for two days on the opening screen of Super Mario…

5 years ago
Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3

Quarantined Clock Town Resident Can’t Remember If It’s Day 1 or Day 3

CLOCK TOWN, Termina —  Clock Town resident and Stock Pot Inn owner Anju, 17, reported confusion today after struggling to…

5 years ago
Nintendo Announces You Can Borrow Their Old Games But They’re Gonna Need Them BackNintendo Announces You Can Borrow Their Old Games But They’re Gonna Need Them Back

Nintendo Announces You Can Borrow Their Old Games But They’re Gonna Need Them Back

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a collection of 3D Mario games from past generations coming to Nintendo Switch today, available…

5 years ago
Here Is Everything We Know So Far About 1996’s Nintendo 64Here Is Everything We Know So Far About 1996’s Nintendo 64

Here Is Everything We Know So Far About 1996’s Nintendo 64

Released to much acclaim and commercial success back in 1996, the Nintendo 64 is a system that continues to captivate…

5 years ago
Millennial Excited to Return to Pokémon Snap With Photography Degree Under His BeltMillennial Excited to Return to Pokémon Snap With Photography Degree Under His Belt

Millennial Excited to Return to Pokémon Snap With Photography Degree Under His Belt

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A millennial gamer who grew up with Pokémon Snap is excited to play the new Nintendo Switch…

5 years ago
Gamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa WorldGamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa World

Gamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa World

PARIS — Panic broke out within the Louvre earlier this week when a tourist attempted to launch himself over the…

5 years ago
CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

CDC Warns Americans Against Touching Mario’s Face In ‘Super Mario 64’

ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention held a press conference today explaining in detail the health risks…

5 years ago