November 8, 2020 Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All Donald Trump Decides to Buy PS5 After All WASHINGTON — After initially claiming he was going to hold out until more exclusive next-gen titles became available, President Donald Trump has reversed his claim…
November 5, 2020 Gamer Tip: Your Vote Is Wasted If It’s Not Concentrated on a Blinking Weak Spot Gamer Tip: Your Vote Is Wasted If It’s Not Concentrated on a Blinking Weak Spot PENNSYLVANIA — Gamer consultants have advised the Trump and Biden campaigns that it’s pointless to spam votes in low-effect areas like California and Kentucky, when…
November 3, 2020 Guy Writing In “Waluigi” for President Doesn’t Actually Want Waluigi to Be President Guy Writing In “Waluigi” for President Doesn’t Actually Want Waluigi to Be President ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local voter Martin Frost does not actually want video game character Waluigi to be president, despite writing him in under “president” on…
October 24, 2020 Game About Inescapable Hellscape Really Resonating With People Right Now For Some Reason Game About Inescapable Hellscape Really Resonating With People Right Now For Some Reason SAN JOSE, Calif. — Developers at Supergiant Games reportedly cannot pinpoint why their hit game Hades, about a man attempting over and over again to…
September 10, 2020 Contrarian Having Great 2020 Contrarian Having Great 2020 PHOENIX — Despite his entire social circle being overcome with anxiety, dread, and financial instability for most of the calendar year thus far, unwavering contrarian…
April 3, 2020 2020 Delayed Until Early 2021 2020 Delayed Until Early 2021 NEW YORK — Several CEOs of prominent video game companies held a joint press conference today, announcing that the entire calendar year of 2020 is…
February 12, 2019 Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020 Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020 LOS ANGELES — Tom Cruise released a statement today, after much speculation, confirming he would be running in the year 2020. “I decided it was…
