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Report: Letterboxd User Writes Review Like They’re Getting Paid for It

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AUCKLAND, N.Z. — Film enthusiasts using Letterboxd were reportedly appalled this week after coming across one user’s review of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension that was written with such care that it seemed as if the writer thought he was getting paid for it.

“It’s a ridiculous notion to say the least,” said Robert Hyland, one such Letterboxd user that had encountered the post. “The idea that anyone would actually care enough about your opinion to read it? Get real. It’s a glorified Twitter for guys that show off their Criterion Blu Ray copy of Yojimbo on first dates. Not even watch it, literally just brag about owning it. If you’re on there to do anything except workshop one-liners, you’re on the wrong app, pal.”

Another avid cinephile, Frank Bannister shared his own invaluable thoughts on the Banzai review.

“I mean, maybe if the guy had a good take I’d understand, but it became clear after reading all 600 words of his review a second time that the genius of Buckaroo just didn’t connect,” confessed Bannister. “It’s such a clever deconstruction and satirization of the machismo-soaked decadence of contemporary action films of the day, expressed through an absurdist macrocosmic lens. You can hear all about it on my podcast. We just cracked 5 dollars a month on Patreon!”

Professional film critic Josh Hanauer had also come across the Banzai review, and seemed to be much more sympathetic.

“In all honesty, it wasn’t that bad. Read pretty fluidly.” Hanauer said. “Almost felt like it had been edited and curated. I’d be surprised if it wasn’t written by an actual journalist.”

When reached to comment, the author of the review, Deacon Walker, defended his choice.

“I think the review is exquisite. Filled with strong choices right from the very beginning, Walker’s review of Buckaroo Banzai is a feast for the eyes, inviting readers to relish in the wonder of a man expressing his thoughts on a fim for no reason other than his love of both the written and visual language. Reading the review—” Walker said, before we cut him off because we just couldn’t listen to any more of his shit.