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Quality-of-Life Update Uninstalls Game


AUSTIN, Texas — Finally delivering on an anticipated feature that had been promised to fans for years, Bethesda released a quality-of-life update to their online multiplayer game Fallout 76 which improves upon the game’s core experience by uninstalling it from the user’s device.  

“We’ve heard the feedback of the Fallout 76 community, and after a lot of hard work we’re excited to roll out this new feature which will totally reinvent the way people interact with the game,” said Bethesda director Todd Howard. “So the latest update just deletes the game. This isn’t just a quality-of-life update for the game, but also your own actual life. We’re confident that this update is a step in the right direction on both fronts.”

Players were skeptical after reading the single line Patch Notes that simply read “we give up,” but many have come around to and appreciate the change. 

“At first I thought this was just another case of out of touch game developers thinking they know what’s best, but they were really on the ball with this patch,” said longtime Fallout 76 player Bailey Thomas. “Ever since the patch hit, I’ve been so much happier. I’ve been spending more time with my family, I stopped chugging Mountain Dew, hell I swapped out grinding for yoga. Thank you, Todd Howard!” 

“Look, we’re not like those weirdos who think videogames turn people into degenerates,” explained Howard. “But this one specific game clearly sucks your soul out of your body slowly as you play. We’ve been hearing reports about this for years, and this should finally put an end to it.”

At press time, Bethesda had reportedly applied another patch to Fallout 76 which stops players from reinstalling the game and just installs Skyrim instead.