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america, books, dangerous, history, united states

While concerned parents continue to wage war on violent video games, they are ignoring a much more serious danger: explicit fantasy novels that have found their way into our schools to poison the brains of our children. These books vary in a few trivial aspects, but their collective lore poses a grave threat to anyone who reads them. This is especially true for children whose brains are still developing.

We must free our communities from this poison before it’s too late.

These books originate from a variety of dubious sources, including (allegedly) Prentice Hall and McGraw Hill, who label them as “non-fiction” in order to access legal markets without oversight. They can be known by street names like America: The History of Our Nation and Discovering Our Past: A History of the United States. These cute names, along with colorful packaging and imagery, are designed to disguise these ridiculous, fantastical novels as legitimate sources of knowledge. It’s a clever trick that is common among peddlers of dangerous substances, allowing them to push their products into our precious schools unhindered.

Experts claim that children are not the only ones being duped. Many kids are first exposed to this material by adults who they trust.

“A lot of parents and teachers get fooled into thinking these books are no big deal, because they say, ‘What’s wrong with kids learning a little bit about history?’” said Dr. Shelby Brown, a scientist concerned about the spread of illicit intoxicants through communities. “What they don’t realize is that these books have actually been cut with extremely dangerous substances. When children consume these additives and get hooked, they have an increased risk of developing violent, anti-social behaviors as adults.”

We were able to acquire samples easily through the internet, and our own internal analysis showed a variety of harmful ideas that are completely inconsistent with the “non-fiction” label. These include the idea that the Civil Rights movement was just about voting, that the Founding Fathers weren’t white supremacists, and that the United States did not knowingly commit mass genocide against Native Americans for generations.

While we could not confirm this rumor ourselves, it has also been alleged that more recent samples are incorporating newer bits of lore. One anonymous parent claimed she found her daughter reading a book that suggested the Bush Administration really believed Saddam Hussein had nuclear weapons. Obviously, this belief would be an unspeakable danger to the health of her daughter’s brain. If left unchecked, the dealers of these heinous tomes might even get their hands on the latest drug on the market: the claim that Donald Trump is the first white nationalist in the White House.

Just like violent video games, we believe that wacky, over-the-top fantasy books can be lots of fun for our kids outside of school. But if we are not more careful about moderation, our children will grow up to be sickened adults, completely unhinged from the world around them.