June 19, 2018 Marvel Reveals Thanos Erased ISIS and It Will Return if Universe is Restored Marvel Reveals Thanos Erased ISIS and It Will Return if Universe is Restored LOS ANGELES — Joe and Anthony Russo revealed today that, not only is it canon in the Marvel Cinematic Universe that Thanos erased ISIS with…
June 7, 2018 Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members Star Wars Fan Restores Balance to the Force by Only Harassing White Male Cast Members SEATTLE — Self-described male feminist Stephen Brassinger brought balance to a social media galaxy far far away by deciding to only harass the white male…
May 20, 2018 Report: Young RPG Characters Aren’t Saving Enough Potions to Last Them Through Later Stages Report: Young RPG Characters Aren’t Saving Enough Potions to Last Them Through Later Stages NEW YORK — A troubling report by researchers at the NYU Game Center has found that young RPG characters aren’t saving enough potions to last…
April 22, 2018 Donald Trump Reveals Presidency Actually Nuzlocke Run Donald Trump Reveals Presidency Actually Nuzlocke Run WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump revealed via a series of tweets this morning that his presidency has been following the rules of the Pokémon Nuzlocke…
April 21, 2018 Mario Defends Italy’s WW2 Actions in Controversial Interview Mario Defends Italy’s WW2 Actions in Controversial Interview NEW DONK CITY — Iconic video game star Mario Mario is under fire for his controversial defense of Italy’s actions during World War 2 in…
April 14, 2018 Man Anxiously Waiting for HQ Trivia to Start So He Can Type “TRUMP” in Chat Man Anxiously Waiting for HQ Trivia to Start So He Can Type “TRUMP” in Chat KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Larry Pullman, 37, is anticipating this afternoon’s HQ Trivia game in which he plans to type “TRUMP” in the group chat. Playing…
March 27, 2018 Ocarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press Secretary Ocarina of Time Owl Announced as New White House Press Secretary WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump surprised Americans today by replacing Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders with the talking owl who appeared in The Legend of…
March 11, 2018 Trump Meets With Rob Liefeld to Discuss Armor Design for High School Teachers Trump Meets With Rob Liefeld to Discuss Armor Design for High School Teachers WASHINGTON — President Trump has brought comic book artist Rob Liefeld, best known as the co-creator of Deadpool and Cable, in as an outside consultant to…
February 28, 2018 Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the average final boss earns thirty-five…
