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Dude Down to Protest Anything as Long as He Can Wear Cool Guy Fawkes Mask


anonymous, guy fawkes, mask, protest, quarantine, v for vendetta

LANSING, Mich. — A protester at a recent demonstration against the state’s pandemic response has revealed that he’ll show up at more or less any public protest so long as his Guy Fawkes mask and costume, made contemporarily famous by the graphic novel and film V For Vendetta, is acceptable attire. 

“It’s 2020 and the world needs to know how fucking cool I think this mask looks,” said Brendan Milchun, a self described “fiscal anarchist and social libarxist.” “It’s really important that we remember, uh, you know, everything that he stood for and November and all of that, too. If the government thinks that they can just do whatever they want without me larping as an activist, then they sure got a surprise coming. I look at things a little bit differently than everyone else, just so you know.” 

This was just the latest in a series of public appearances for Milchun, who has donned the Fawkes garb at such recent events as a Bernie Sanders rally, a Pro Life protest held outside of Planned Parenthood, and a recent parade that he mistook for a mass protest of some kind. 

“Yeah, that was weird,” said Glenn Flowerton, Grand Marshall of last year’s Blueberry Parade, the cornerstone of Montrose, Michigan’s annual Blueberry Festival. “I saw the guy dressed up in that opera suit, and I just figured it was one of those weirdos from M-57 Towing, ya know? But no, turns out he’s some kind of activist or something. No place for that in the Blueberry Festival, if you ask me.”

Despite a few inadvertent appearances at gatherings without political motivations, Milchun maintained that his continued mission had been successful thus far. 

“When you look at things a little bit differently, like I do, it all makes sense,” he said. “It’s more important that I raise general awareness of, you know, looking like a badass, than it is to actually hope to enact any structural changes to a corrupt and rotten system. America is finished, but that’s no reason not to spend my stimulus check on trench coats and stupid little hats.”

As of press time, Milchun was seen sprinting around the capitol lawn trying to appear in the background of as many news crews’ footage as possible.

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