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Netflix Admits 90% of Menu Tiles Lead Nowhere


LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix was forced to confirm that roughly 90% of the menu tiles in their app have no actual shows behind them, after a customer accidentally clicked one of their lesser-known original television programs.

“Fine, we’ll admit it: Do we go through the trouble to make all those TV shows you scroll past on the home screen? No, we do not. Do we at least make most of them? Also no. Why would we do that?” said Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos, before announcing ‘about two or three hundred’ new shows and comedy specials, five of which will actually be made. “What would be the point, exactly?”

The fact was first uncovered when viewer Miles Zane was scrolling idly through the menu yesterday evening and fumbled his remote.

“I accidentally tapped this show called Being Sad. It had some cover art of a guy frowning and shrugging,” said Zane, whose screen went blank after opening the show. “Believe me, I would never click that on purpose. Looks awful.”

The menu tile for Being Sad also claimed the show was based on a “critically acclaimed YA novel,” but the CEO refused to speak about the book itself.

“I didn’t come here to get into which books are real and which ones are not. How am I supposed to know that? Telepathy? All I know for sure is that we paid someone $25 million for the rights, and when it’s that cheap, I don’t ask any questions,” Sarandos said, refusing further comment.

There was still no word on allegations that Bojack Horseman only created a few seasons, as no person had been confirmed to last longer than that.