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Move Over Ray Tracing: Sony Just Trademarked Something Called Gary Tracing


NEW YORK — As Sony and Microsoft compete for market control in the current generation of console gaming, Sony has trademarked a new technology that many believe will prove to be a game changer, something called “Gary Tracing.”

“Let’s be clear, we know absolutely nothing about this except for the name they’ve trademarked,” said games journalist Cortney Brown. “However, Ray Tracing has emerged as one of the most exciting breakthroughs in video game technology in the last few years, and it sure sounds like Sony has something big up their sleeves here. What could Gary Tracing be? I bet it’s something to do with the sound. Whatever it is, this is the story of the year!”

Gamers and journalists alike immediately began pontificating on how Gary Tracing may shape the industry in the near future. 

“Sony’s throwing down the gauntlet in a major way here, I think,” said local gamer Alden Tuttle. “When you think about it, Microsoft is really beating Sony these days when it comes to software. It makes sense that they would introduce something as revolutionary as Gary Tracing now. Still not all the way clear on what it is, but I bet in a year or two I will be livid when games don’t have it. I’m gonna love Gary Tracing, I just know it.” 

Sony executives remained tight lipped about Gary Tracing, reminding everyone that it had not been officially announced yet. 

“Look, we’re realistic, we know we can’t keep a lid on something quite as mind blowing as Gary Tracing,” said Jim Ryan, Sony Interactive Entertainment president and CEO. “But we also can’t say too much just yet. Please be patient with us. Oh, and if you thought it was hard to get your hands on a PlayStation 5 now, just wait until we light the gaming world on fire with an official reveal. That’s all I can say for now. Oh, and that pregnant women probably should avoid playing titles with Gary Tracing in them.” 

As of press time, Sony had cryptically changed the names of all of their social media accounts to Gary.