LOS ANGELES — Local man Herman Gunther reportedly realized that his supposedly funny friend Matt has been stealing all of his funny quotes from the popular cartoon The Simpsons.
“I’ve known Matt since high school, and I always knew he was a clever guy, but after The Simpsons debuted, he really became a laugh riot. Pretty suspicious!” Gunther said. “I had never actually seen the show until recently, and to my surprise, all the characters kept saying some of Matt’s classic one-liners. Every time I laughed at his jokes, I was actually laughing at some cartoon guy’s jokes. My whole worldview has been shattered.”
According to those familiar with the situation, Matt’s co-workers have also noticed a similar trend..
“Yeah, every time we had a mixer at work, that jerk would say the most hilarious stuff. Then I was like, hold on, didn’t I make that joke first?” explained Matt’s friend Bill Oakley. “I remember whenever someone would even offhandedly mention potatoes, you could expect him to bust out the classic, ‘I just think they’re neat!’ I’m like 99% sure our co-worker Josh Weinstein came up with that. But no one can really do anything about it, I guess, because he’s the boss. We’re not gonna just call out the guy who employs us just because he steals all his jokes from his employees and some cartoon.”
The Matt in question, however, finds no faults in his lifting jokes from The Simpsons.
“What is happening? I wrote The Simpsons! It’s my show! Am I going insane?!” he said, defiantly. “I can say ‘don’t have a cow’ as much as I want! I feel like I’m losing my mind. Hell, I think I’d even be OK taking jokes from Family Guy, because without me, that shit wouldn’t even exist!”
At press time, Matt’s friends completely lost it at their friend after watching Futurama and Disenchantment.