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Lil Nas X Disappointed Met Gala Didn’t Do Enough Damage to Reveal His Final Phase Outfit


NEW YORK — Rapper Lil Nas X is reportedly disappointed that the Met Gala was unable to defeat his third phase Monday night, allowing him to unleash his final outfit upon the world in all its glory.

“I expected more of you, Met Gala! Perhaps I was too quick to assume you were at my power level,” Lil Nas X said, releasing a deep laugh while standing over the defeated Met Gala party. “My cape-form granted me slow yet powerful, deliberate attacks, my-armor form was quicker and more deadly, and my sparkling catsuit-form, which defeated you swiftly, unlocked my magic abilities, allowing me to blast you with my deadly beams of light. And yet, had you been able to deal enough damage, you would have unleashed my final and truest form; completely nude, I would have battled you to the bitter end, constrained at last by nothing. Heh, it’s a shame. I had respect for you, Met Gala, but now you must die.”

At press time, Lil Nas X threw his arms out, spinning and lifting off the ground until he flew so far into the sky that he could no longer be seen.