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Jackbox Hard Mode Update Bans the Word ‘Cum’


CHICAGO — Jackbox Games released an update to their suite of party games last night, adding a hard mode that bans the use of the word “cum.”

“Our gameplay data analytics suggest that over 13% of Quiplash answers involve the word ‘cum’ and that a further 60% contain a dirty word of some kind,” explained Gerald Flitzmann, CTO at the company. “This new mode, available in all 8 Packs, will ban phrases such as ‘cum,’ ‘dick,’ ‘piss,’ ‘shit’ ‘wank,’ and ‘nutsack,’ among others. We hope this update will be highly received by our fans, and that it will enhance the already exciting Jackbox experience.”

A group of friends, avid Jackbox fans, were mixed on the new feature after testing it at their weekly game night.

“I don’t know about you guys, but these games are fun to me precisely because I get to impress everyone by saying ‘cum’ over and over,” one of the friends said of the new mode. “Those three sweet letters will have a room in uproar, without fail. It makes me feel like I’m actually funny, and with them gone, the game kind of falls apart.”

The industry’s reaction to the new mode was similarly divisive. One analyst, Jane Tate, felt critical of the Jackbox Team’s decision-making in the conception and execution of the mode. 

“Y’know, some thought this update would inspire creativity in players, adding challenge, excitement and engagement to the Jackbox experience. Yet it seems that I and other critics have been proven right in believing that people play these games in order to be as edgy as possible in a toilet-humour race to the bottom. Who’da thunk?”

Post-release data indicates that ‘smegma’ — which had been missed by the hard mode’s censors — now constitutes 90% of responses since the update.