November 1, 2020 Horrible Goose Caught Scaring Voters Away From Early Voting Site Horrible Goose Caught Scaring Voters Away From Early Voting Site KEENE, Ky. — Several Keene residents have reported cases of voter intimidation at the small town’s early voting location, noting that the polls are being…
October 31, 2020 Remembering Legendary Game Designer Tom Clancy Remembering Legendary Game Designer Tom Clancy The video game world has always had creative figures who loomed large and were beloved for their contributions to the medium. However, one trailblazing code…
October 31, 2020 Child Who Received Mostly Rare Candies for Halloween Now 36 Years Old Child Who Received Mostly Rare Candies for Halloween Now 36 Years Old FAIRFIELD, Conn. — Kenny Coleman, local pokemon fan and former adolescent, has reportedly received a number of rare candies in his halloween basket, leveling him…
October 30, 2020 Man Can’t Throw Away PS2 Multitap in Case Three Friends Want to Get Together and Play a Few Rounds of ‘Twisted Metal: Black’ Man Can’t Throw Away PS2 Multitap in Case Three Friends Want to Get Together and Play a Few Rounds of ‘Twisted Metal: Black’ PARMA, Ohio — Local game collector Steve Yalper is dutifully holding on to his vintage PlayStation 2 Multitap in case up to three of his…
October 30, 2020 U.S. Announces Plan to Withdraw All Troops from Donkey Kong Country by Christmas U.S. Announces Plan to Withdraw All Troops from Donkey Kong Country by Christmas WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump took to Twitter last night to announce that all American forces currently serving overseas in Donkey Kong Country are expected…
October 29, 2020 ‘America Will Look Vastly Different After November,’ Says Man Discussing ‘Hyrule Warriors’ Launch Day ‘America Will Look Vastly Different After November,’ Says Man Discussing ‘Hyrule Warriors’ Launch Day WASHINGTON — Warning his friends and loved ones of the coming weeks and months of uncertainty, local politico Philippe Cruz remarked today that America will…
October 28, 2020 Anonymous ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Contractor Reveals Intense Crunch Culture Made Him Say “Whoa” Anonymous ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ Contractor Reveals Intense Crunch Culture Made Him Say “Whoa” LOS ANGELES — An anonymous whistleblower working on Cyberpunk 2077 with CD Projekt Red has revealed a pattern of intense and abusive crunch culture that…
October 28, 2020 Boyfriend Takes -7 Environmental Damage Per Second on Mission to Grocery Store Boyfriend Takes -7 Environmental Damage Per Second on Mission to Grocery Store OXFORD, Ohio — In a journey that exposed one of his most glaring character vulnerabilities, local boyfriend Zach McInnes suffered -7 environmental damage per second…
October 28, 2020 PlayStation Owner Wondering When Sony Is Going to Send Him All Those Trophies PlayStation Owner Wondering When Sony Is Going to Send Him All Those Trophies CARRBORO, N.C. — A local gamer is on the warpath against Sony as, after six years, he has yet to receive a single physical PlayStation…
