November 24, 2020 Next Kingdom Hearts Game to Feature all the Racist Cats from ‘The Aristocats’ Next Kingdom Hearts Game to Feature all the Racist Cats from ‘The Aristocats’ TOKYO — In honor of the classic Disney film’s 50th anniversary, publisher Square-Enix announced in a press release today that the next installment of the…
November 23, 2020 Video Game Enemies Circulate Anonymous Spreadsheet to Share Max HP and Equipment Info Video Game Enemies Circulate Anonymous Spreadsheet to Share Max HP and Equipment Info GRUGG’S CASTLE — In an effort to increase transparency about fair hiring practices and compensation, a group of video game enemies employed as guards at…
November 23, 2020 Gamer Who “Plays Better While High” Has No Basis for Comparison Gamer Who “Plays Better While High” Has No Basis for Comparison LOS ANGELES — Local gamer Aaron Hopper insisted that he “plays way better when he’s stoned” despite a complete lack of experience playing any other…
November 22, 2020 Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her Man Worried He’ll Never Find Open World Game as Good as Her ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local gamer Joe Fleming is reportedly worried that Nintendo’s stunning masterpiece Breath of the Wild has ruined any chance that he’ll ever…
November 21, 2020 “With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man “With Great Power, Comes No Responsibility,” Cop Tells Spider-Man NEW YORK — New York police officer David Whitehead pulled Spider-Man aside today after teaming up to beat up a group of low-level drug dealers…
November 20, 2020 Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’ Oprah Announces Newest Book Club Entry, ‘101 Fortnite Tips & Tricks’ CHICAGO — Oprah Winfrey shocked the gaming and literary worlds today by announcing that the newest entry in her long running tastemaking book club would…
November 18, 2020 Gamer Asks Chipotle Employee Which Type of Beans Provide Better Stat Boost Gamer Asks Chipotle Employee Which Type of Beans Provide Better Stat Boost AUSTIN — Frustrating employees and other patrons and holding up the line behind him with his questions, a local gamer asked a Chipotle employee taking…
November 18, 2020 RPG Town Shop Goes Bankrupt After Buying $10,000 in Trinkets From Adventurer RPG Town Shop Goes Bankrupt After Buying $10,000 in Trinkets From Adventurer NETINNDEL — An RPG shop owner has been forced to close up his local shop and declare bankruptcy after buying $10,000 worth of useless trinkets…
November 17, 2020 PlayStation 5 Owner Trying to Find Most Subtle Way to Get Old Roommate’s Netflix Password Again PlayStation 5 Owner Trying to Find Most Subtle Way to Get Old Roommate’s Netflix Password Again NEW YORK — After getting a brand new PlayStation 5, Rick Warren reconnected with his old roommate in a subtle attempt to get her Netflix…
