August 4, 2017 TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues ANAHEIM, Calif. â A promising pair of AA Bexels were promoted to work in an Xbox One controller after a successful several-month tenure powering a…
August 3, 2017 Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. â Fred and Maria Owens were severely disappointed to discover their newborn baby has absolutely terrible stats after being delivered in a…
August 2, 2017 Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller ALLENTOWN, Penn. â Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend their âpositivityâ token to play…
July 31, 2017 The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record WASHINGTON â Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony âThe Moochâ Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only ten days on the job,…
July 31, 2017 World’s Oldest Gamer? This Man Was Reportedly Born January 1, 1900 World’s Oldest Gamer? This Man Was Reportedly Born January 1, 1900 DUBUQUE, Iowa â A previously unknown supercentenarian has been discovered and it turns out heâs an avid gamer, sources say. Representatives from EA, Rockstar Games,…
July 29, 2017 NSA Denies Watching Your Half of Screen NSA Denies Watching Your Half of Screen WASHINGTON â National Security Agency Director Michael S. Rogers released an official statement today denying all accusations that the NSA has been watching your half…
July 28, 2017 Nintendo Commits to Fully Develop, Promote, and Cancel Three New EarthBound Titles Nintendo Commits to Fully Develop, Promote, and Cancel Three New EarthBound Titles REDMOND, Wash. â In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime revealed Nintendoâs upcoming plans to fully develop, promote, and cancel three…
July 27, 2017 Paperboy Accosted for Throwing Fake News at Manâs Home Paperboy Accosted for Throwing Fake News at Manâs Home ANYTOWN, U.S. â Johnny Johnson, local paperboy, has been hospitalized after being severely beaten by local resident Grady Hollis for delivering âfake newsâ to Hollisâ…
July 27, 2017 Our Writer Died One Sentence into this PlayerUnknownâs Battlegrounds Article Our Writer Died One Sentence into this PlayerUnknownâs Battlegrounds Article PlayerUnknownâs Battlegrounds is one of the most exciting new games on the Steam marketplace but many online players are complaining about the promised addition of…
