September 21, 2017 College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila College Student’s Fast Travel Ability Unlocked by Bottle of Tequila GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle of “Se Tiene Especial” Tequila,…
September 19, 2017 Opinion: If You Live in My Sims Town, You Better Learn to Speak Gibberish Opinion: If You Live in My Sims Town, You Better Learn to Speak Gibberish Original article has been translated from Simlish for clarity. Immigration continues to be a dividing issue, and it can be hard to find the…
September 17, 2017 Sonic the Hedgehog Visits Sick DeviantArt User for Make-A-Wish to Tell Him His OC is Canon Sonic the Hedgehog Visits Sick DeviantArt User for Make-A-Wish to Tell Him His OC is Canon OSWEGO, N.Y. — Sonic the Hedgehog honored the Make-A-Wish request of 13-year-old DeviantArt regular Jake Applebaum, declaring his self-created character Jake the Hedgehog part of…
September 16, 2017 Gamers Furious as Arcade Machine Introduces 25 Cent Microtransactions Gamers Furious as Arcade Machine Introduces 25 Cent Microtransactions PHOENIX — Anger erupted among several gamers after a local arcade machine suddenly began charging unsuspecting players 25 cents to access more of the game…
September 15, 2017 Teens Caught Dry Humping in Jurassic Park Arcade Machine Invisible to Mom as Long as They Don’t Move Teens Caught Dry Humping in Jurassic Park Arcade Machine Invisible to Mom as Long as They Don’t Move SEATTLE — Two sexually adventurous teenagers were reportedly trapped in the Jurassic Park arcade machine they’d been fooling around in today, fearing any movements would…
September 14, 2017 South Park TV Show Skewers South Park Video Game for Being Liberal Pussies South Park TV Show Skewers South Park Video Game for Being Liberal Pussies LOS ANGELES — The upcoming South Park role playing game called South Park: The Fractured but Whole, which introduces a difficulty mode that criticizes racial…
September 13, 2017 God Punishes GameStop Employees for Building Funko Pop Tower Too High God Punishes GameStop Employees for Building Funko Pop Tower Too High STROUDSBURG, Penn. — Heavenly father of all creation God recently rained His anger down upon a group of arrogant GameStop employees who tried to build…
September 12, 2017 PewDiePie Accidentally Puts on Entire KKK Uniform in Middle of Game Stream PewDiePie Accidentally Puts on Entire KKK Uniform in Middle of Game Stream BRIGHTON, U.K.— While streaming a heated match of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, YouTube celebrity PewDiePie, in a fit of rage over being killed, impulsively put on an…
September 11, 2017 Nintendo Confirms Waluigi is Uncircumcised for Some Reason Nintendo Confirms Waluigi is Uncircumcised for Some Reason KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo President Tatsumi Kimishima divulged in an interview with Game Informer magazine yesterday that recurring character Waluigi is uncircumcised. The remarks were…
