March 6, 2018 Fortnite Player in Top Ten Without Killing Anyone Unsure if This Counts as Fun Fortnite Player in Top Ten Without Killing Anyone Unsure if This Counts as Fun BALTIMORE — After not seeing a single player for the first twenty minutes of a Fortnite match, thereby making it into the top ten, Jordan…
March 5, 2018 Ledge Looks Like You Should Really Be Able to Jump up There Ledge Looks Like You Should Really Be Able to Jump up There DETROIT — Gamer Harold Bunda wasted over an hour of his life pursuing what appeared to be an accessible area in Rise of the Tomb…
March 4, 2018 If Video Games Make Children More Violent, Why Do They Keep Losing Fistfights Against Me? If Video Games Make Children More Violent, Why Do They Keep Losing Fistfights Against Me? All great scientists are called maniacs in their time, and I am no exception. Is it “crazy” to conduct your own experiments? To gather your…
March 3, 2018 Girlfriend On Phone Quietly Drops $3,000 for Comfier Chairs in Virtual Restaurant Girlfriend On Phone Quietly Drops $3,000 for Comfier Chairs in Virtual Restaurant INDIANAPOLIS – Local girlfriend Stacey Hopkins, currently sitting on the edge of the couch while her boyfriend plays Battlefront II, has reportedly just dropped $3,000 to…
March 2, 2018 Burglar Steals Everything But Wii U Burglar Steals Everything But Wii U BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A local burglar, after stealing hundreds of dollars worth of assorted pieces of technology, specifically decided not to steal a Wii U…
February 28, 2018 Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the average final boss earns thirty-five…
February 25, 2018 Criminal Mastermind Doesn’t Trade Gengar Back After Evolving Him Criminal Mastermind Doesn’t Trade Gengar Back After Evolving Him TULSA, Okla. — 11-year-old Ella May Williams pulled off the “heist of the school year” late last week, sources allege, after acquiring a Gengar in…
February 24, 2018 Violent Video Games Argument Receives HD Remaster Violent Video Games Argument Receives HD Remaster WASHINGTON — Fans of recycled arguments rejoiced earlier this week, as President Donald Trump unveiled an updated, high definition remaster of the allegation that video…
February 23, 2018 Cooking Mama Adds Battle Royale Survival Mode Cooking Mama Adds Battle Royale Survival Mode KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today via press release the acquisition of the Cooking Mama franchise with the goal to re-invent the title as a…
