May 13, 2018 Villain’s Monologue Perfect Time to Heat Up Chinese Food Villain’s Monologue Perfect Time to Heat Up Chinese Food CLARION, Pa. — In the moments leading up to their final conflict, 29 year old gamer Jim Valentine realized that a villain’s extended monologue was an…
May 12, 2018 PlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in Apartment PlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in Apartment BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local twenty-six year old Darren Fitzgerald discovered recently that, in order to show off the CDs he’d purchased at a flea market,…
May 11, 2018 Man Returns to Find Roasted Chicken He Hid Inside Barrel Broken Into, Eaten Man Returns to Find Roasted Chicken He Hid Inside Barrel Broken Into, Eaten NEW YORK — While attempting to recover a full chicken dinner sealed inside a wooden barrel at an earlier date, financial analyst Michael Kann instead…
May 10, 2018 Review: ‘God of War’ Masterfully Captures the Relationship Between Kratos, His Son, and His Other Son Kraanch Review: ‘God of War’ Masterfully Captures the Relationship Between Kratos, His Son, and His Other Son Kraanch
May 9, 2018 Anthropologists Interview Last Man Who Remembers Good Star Fox Game Anthropologists Interview Last Man Who Remembers Good Star Fox Game AMAZON RAINFOREST, Brazil — In a stunning development, researchers discovered and were able to document the recollections of what anthropologists believe to be the last…
May 8, 2018 Guy Who Can Tell Difference Between 60 and 100 FPS Lies About Other Stuff Too Guy Who Can Tell Difference Between 60 and 100 FPS Lies About Other Stuff Too FERNDALE, Wash. — At a recent LAN party, local PC gamer and prolific liar Chris Hartigan incorrectly suggested he could tell the difference between 60…
May 7, 2018 Half of PUBG Players Disappear as Thanos Arrives in Fortnite Half of PUBG Players Disappear as Thanos Arrives in Fortnite Following Epic Games’ announcement of tomorrow’s Infinity War themed update to their smash hit Fortnite, fifty percent of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds users have reportedly vanished from…
May 7, 2018 35 Year Old Coward Buys Strategy Guide 35 Year Old Coward Buys Strategy Guide ITHACA, N.Y. — Sources report that Manuel Contreras, a 35-year old bachelor, was recently recognized purchasing a God of War strategy guide, despite his pathetic…
May 6, 2018 Photographer Wins Pulitzer Prize After Getting Pikachu to Ride Surfboard Photographer Wins Pulitzer Prize After Getting Pikachu to Ride Surfboard POKÉMON ISLAND — Aspiring young photographer Todd Snap won the Pulitzer prize in feature photography after luring a wild Pikachu to a surfboard earlier this…
