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Not All Fall Damage Is Physical


Isaac Newton famously said, “what goes up, must come down.” What Mr. Newton didn’t know, however, is that what comes down often stays down. Hi, I’m T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas, and I am writing to remind you that not all fall damage is physical. 

It’s a common misconception that fall damage doesn’t exist if it doesn’t cause measurable injury in the form of diminished hearts, instant death, physical shrinking or scattered coins. What often goes overlooked is the lasting psychological injuries caused by falling, again and again and again. My therapist estimates I have fallen no less than 349,583,458,767 times. Physically, I survive intact each time. Mentally, I have been destroyed.

I no longer know what it is to trust. Can you blame me? Time and again I pledge my support and friendship to those who would cast me off for a quick chance at a Dragon Coin or access to Cheese Bridge secrets and a 3UP moon. Despite my unwavering devotion, turning revolting red koopa shells into mighty fire or stomaching putrid blue shells to bestow the gift of flight, I am never truly loved. I am used. I am fallen. 

When you stare into the abyss, they say the abyss stares back into you. So, what about when you plummet into the abyss? To fall, seemingly for all time and no time at all, until a small pinprick of light slowly rushes toward you until it becomes a blinding beacon of pure energy that engulfs you and bathes you in a beautiful radiance cut short, as always, by the cracking of an egg shell and another turn on the surface. There are goombas to swallow. There is a princess to save. 

There is no end in sight.

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