KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo sent shockwaves through the gaming industry today as they announced that their iconic mascot Mario’s canonical name is actually Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario-Mario.
“Everyone loved finding out that Mario’s name was really Mario Mario,” said Shigeru Miyamoto, who created the character along with many others. “But that was merely the tip of the iceberg. I always pictured Mario as this descendant from a long line of similar heroes, maybe like Link a little bit, only in the Mario world, every generation adds a ‘Mario.’ So he symbolically carries around eight generations of Marios with him while he’s saving the princess and everything else.”
Shigeru went on to reveal that Mario’s longtime sidekick and brother’s full name is Luigi Luigi Mario Luigi Luigi Mario-Luigi. The news has brought upon very mixed reactions online thus far.
“Wait, so you’re telling me Mario has five middle names and they are all Mario as well?” asked Logan Cooper a lifetime Nintendo fan. “Awesome! Mario has been my favorite character all my life and I know exactly three things about him, so it’s such a thrill to get a little bit more of a backstory on him. Really makes you appreciate the work they put into building the lore, although it’s weird that we’re just hearing about this now.”
As of press time, Nintendo has announced that 2021 will be The Year of Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario Mario-Mario and that all future games and rereleases will reflect the character’s full name in their titles from now on.
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