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bugha, fortnite, v bucks

NEW YORK — Following a momentous victory at the Fortnite World Cup finals, 16-year-old eSports prodigy Kyle ‘Bugha’ Giersdorf now faces the delicate financial decision of whether to accept his $3 million prize in a single lump sum, a series of yearly payments, or a staggering 400 million V-Bucks. 

“I was thinking it would be legit to buy my family a new house,” said Giersdorf. “Or, like, a small island. But Epic set me up with this really cool financial guy, Jeremy, and Jeremy pointed out that I was getting almost a 30% bonus by taking the V-Bucks. He said that I shouldn’t pass up a great deal like that, and I don’t know, he’s probably right.”

Giersdorf’s financial advisor and longtime lawyer for Epic Games, Jeremy Eline, reportedly weighed the options carefully and determined that Giersdorf “didn’t really need” the $3 million.

“It’s a no-brainer, really,” said Eline, signing a large novelty check. “The kid was gonna drop the money on V-Bucks anyway. I mean, you could buy what, a hundred guns with that? A thousand? I don’t know. I’ve never played the game. But if it were me? Yeah, I’d still take those V-Things, any day of the week. This kid is getting a great deal.”

Giersdorf’s mother, Darcy Giersdorf, expressed little interest in the award altogether.

“Oh, he won a little prize from playing his video games?” said Giersdorf, attention mostly focused on her crochet. “That’s nice. You know, his sister just won $75 at a state spelling bee. Why don’t you write about that?”

Shortly after the World Cup concluded, Epic Games announced an ultra-rare emote that would hit the Fornite Shop in the coming weeks with an estimated price tag of just over 400 million V-Bucks.

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