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allergy, cd projekt red, cyberpunk 2077, epilepsy, peanuts, seisure

WARSAW — Polish video game developer CD Projekt RED faced criticism for a cutscene in their new game Cyberpunk 2077, in which the player must eat a large bag of peanuts included with the game disc, even if they’re allergic.

“When creating games like Cyberpunk 2077 and The Witcher 3, our top priority is immersion. Will that make some people uncomfortable? Yes. Will it cause some people to go into anaphylactic shock in a matter of minutes, causing a massive drop in blood pressure and extreme difficulty breathing?” said a spokesperson for the company. “Also yes.”

Although CD Projekt RED was expected to issue an apology and a patch making the peanuts optional, the company insisted they had no way of anticipating the backlash.

“Look, we do our best, but you can’t make a game accessible to everybody. What if somebody is allergic to Keanu’s trademark blend of modesty and charisma? What if a gamer is hyper-sensitive to dystopian settings that kind of rip off Blade Runner but not in a flagrant way so it’s fine?” said the legal counsel for parent company DC Projekt S.A. “You just have to throw the bag of peanuts in there, make them mandatory, and hope for the best.”

When reached for comment, gamers with peanut allergies had mixed feelings.

“I try not to let my condition interfere with my life. I’ve been excited about this game for a long time, and I already sunk hours into making my character, so I just took a deep breath, stabbed my EpiPen into my leg and scarfed a handful of peanuts. I managed to clear the cutscene before I passed out,” said gamer Mollie Clarke, playing Cyberpunk 2077 on a laptop in her hospital bed. “Would’ve been nice to have the option to skip, though.”

When asked whether it was worth the sacrifice, Clarke hesitated.

“I guess so,” she said. “Game is kinda buggy.”

At press time, CD Projekt RED had yet to comment on the gameplay mechanic where you have to confront your abusive ex every time you upgrade your gun.

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