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IRVINE, Calif. — The latest convention to close its doors due to ongoing COVID-19 concerns, Blizzard has announced that the annual BlizzCon will be streamed online because everyone has a cellphone.

“We wanted to make exciting changes to the con this year,” explained Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick. “We received very vocal feedback from fans at our 2018 convention about Diablo Mobile, and wanted to try to reach that level of fan engagement again. I can’t remember exactly what everyone was so mad about that year, but I know it had something to do with everybody having a cellphone. So hey, why not do the Con on those? I’m excited to see how much everyone loves the decision.”

Kotick insisted he could not give details on what the company would be announcing at the convention, but did offer a few insights into upcoming games.

“I can’t give everything away, but I think people are going to be really excited about our World of Warcraft mobile clicker,” Kotick said, “as well as finally getting to hear about the long-awaited Starcraft: Ghost, which has been renamed StarCraft: Ghost: Go! and let’s fans collect Zerg, Protoss, and Terran upgrades by walking around and clicking on locations in their neighborhood.”

At press time, Kotick also assured fans that Mobile BlizzCon will include hit events from the live convention, such as Zoom chats with World of Warcraft cosplayers and a surprisingly long wait time to use the bathroom.

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