Video Games

Archaeologists Uncover First Recorded Tier List in Ancient Rome

ROME — After reconstructing an ancient piece of pottery featuring various Roman gladiators categorized by their perceived strength, ability, and…

4 years ago

Mortal Kombat Fan Pissed Robocop Isn’t in the Movie

APACHE JUNCTION, Ariz. — A self proclaimed superfan of the Mortal Kombat video game series was reportedly livid after discovering…

4 years ago

Sonic the Hedgehog Found Crushed to Death Inside Vegas Slot Machine

LAS VEGAS — Tragedy struck at the Bellagio Hotel & Casino today, as the squished and dismembered carcass of beloved…

4 years ago

Sony Advises Gamers Against Cracking Apart PS5 Like Delicious Pistachio

TOKYO — In an effort to prevent damage to their products, the game publisher and console manufacturer Sony urged customers…

4 years ago

Mars Rover Immediately Fills All Inventory Slots With Ferrite Dust

PASADENA, Calif. — Mars rover Perseverance has already been filled to the brim with ferrite dust, engineers announced this morning.…

4 years ago

Director of Upcoming Game ‘Shoot JFK in the Fucking Head’ Insists It Won’t Be Political in Nature

LOS ANGELES — The director of an upcoming first person shooter set in Dallas during the 1960s, Shoot JFK in…

4 years ago

Initial Probe of Mars Surface Reveals no New Information on Metroid Prime 4

WASHINGTON — NASA’s Perseverance rover has landed on Mars and reportedly discovered no new information about Nintendo’s upcoming video game,…

4 years ago

Fans Rage After Learning Post Malone’s Pokémon Concert Won’t Contain All His Songs

REDMOND, Wash. — The Pokémon Company has stirred controversy after revealing the upcoming concert celebrating the franchise’s 25th Anniversary will…

4 years ago

New ‘Assassin’s Creed’ to Be Set in Ancient Era When Donald Trump Was President

MONTREAL — Following the success of Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, Ubisoft hinted that their next game would delve further into history…

4 years ago