Video Games

Pope Francis to Hold 2021 Easter Vigil in Fortnite

VATICAN CITY — A spokesman from the Vatican announced today that Pope Francis would be holding this today’s Easter Vigil…

4 years ago

Embarrassed Ridley Assures Smash Player He’s Much Bigger Canonically

SCHENECTADY, N.Y. — Dragon-like space pirate and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter Ridley assured a teary-eyed man controlling his moves…

4 years ago

Report: Guy You’ve Never Heard of Is Creep

NEW YORK — Following accusations from several women, some supposedly famous guy you’re just learning about for the first time…

4 years ago

Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office

REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at…

4 years ago

Gamer Begins Wiki Deep Dive to Catch Up on Series Lore for Splatoon 3

CHICAGO — In anticipation of the upcoming 2022 release of Splatoon 3, first-time player  Bryan Skritcherson has begun the long…

4 years ago

Increasingly Loud PS4 Sprouts Propeller and Flies Away

TUCSON, Ariz. — A seven year old PlayStation 4 that has been making more and more noise has reportedly grown…

4 years ago

Inside the Koopa Slaughterhouses That Fuel the Insatiable Kart Racing Industry

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A controversial new investigation into the supply chain buttressing the extremely popular sport of Kart Racing sparked…

4 years ago

Organizers of Martial Arts Tournament Didn’t Say Anything About Fucking Bear

TOKYO — A former MMA champion officially withdrew from an international martial arts competition yesterday after a brutal mauling from…

4 years ago

Frustrated Gamer Looks Up SparkNotes for ‘Disco Elysium’

YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio — Irritated gamer Jack Dubbins recently decided to try and find the SparkNotes for the game Disco Elysium…

4 years ago