Video Games

‘Metroid’ Remaster Forces Players to Play as Male Samus Unless They Purchase $25 Female Samus Amiibo

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced a surprise HD remaster of the original Metroid today in which you have to play…

3 years ago

Sony Releases PS5 That’s Just the Disc Drive

TOKYO — Sony announced this morning that they have developed a PlayStation 5 that’s just the disc drive. “We did…

3 years ago

Dystopian Predictions of the Future Could Not Have Predicted Today’s Reality: $70 Video Games

WASHINGTON — Analysts warned today that we have reached a new apocalyptic crisis which even the worst models could not…

3 years ago

New GTA “Israel Mode” Gives Civilians Little Pocket Knife so You Feel Better About Going on Murderous Rampage

NEW YORK — Grand Theft Auto 5 is getting a new Israel-themed game mode that gives tiny pocket knives to…

3 years ago

Retrospective: We Look Back at ‘Super Mario 1D World’

With the recent releases of Super Mario 3D All-Stars and Super Mario 3D World, gamers are reflecting on the long…

3 years ago

Tedious Baseball Video Game Makes You Play in Minor League for Almost Whole Season

SAN DIEGO — MLB: The Show 21 has received criticism from fans for its single-player campaign, Road to the Show,…

3 years ago

Villager Warns Children About Spooky House No One Has Left in 11 Months

DESERTED ISLAND — Shaking as he described the terrors that might lie inside, local island resident Lobo warned a group…

3 years ago

Review: ‘New Pokemon Snap’ Lets You Take Sexy Photos of Pokemon (Assuming You Already Find Pokemon Inherently Sexy)

After more than 20 years, Nintendo’s beloved cult hit Pokémon Snap has returned with a sequel that offers the same…

3 years ago

Incredible: How This Millennial Was Able to Buy Their Own Farm at 21 All On Their Own

While most millennials are worrying about paying off their college debt and working multiple jobs to make ends meet, one…

3 years ago