Video Games

Teen Inspired to Reenact Video Game Violence in Real Life Can’t Get Seed Funding to Build Roller Coaster

BOISE, Idaho — Troubled sophomore Blaise Porter’s plans for mass vengeance have been slowly dashed by the tough business realities…

4 years ago

Edgar Allan Poe-Themed Fighting Game Locks Fortunato Behind Paywall

BALTIMORE — An upcoming brawler featuring Edgar Allan Poe characters will launch with the iconic “Cask of Amontillado” wine taster…

4 years ago

Size Queen Purchases PS5

NEW YORK — Local size queen Sasha Carter reportedly purchased a PlayStation 5, the only console large enough to satisfy…

4 years ago

Wario64 Begins Handcrafting PS5s Himself

SAN FRANCISCO — Amidst the growing need for production of more PlayStation 5’s, popular game deals purveyor Wario64 has taken…

4 years ago

Man With Space Invaders Tattoo Can’t Even Name One Character

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A man with a tattoo depicting an enemy from the influential shoot ‘em up game Space Invaders…

4 years ago

GameStop Offers $7.25 Trade-In Credit for Hour of Employee’s Life

GRAPEVINE, Texas — After careful consideration of its market value, a local GameStop location offered recently hired employee Rob Lindsey…

4 years ago

FedEx Driver Takes Xbox Series X on One Last Tour of City Before It Gets Locked Up in Your House Forever

LOS ANGELES — Your scheduled delivery time was delayed this afternoon when FedEx driver Shannon Hunter took your Xbox Series…

4 years ago

Horrified Mario Regrets Triple Jumping Into H.R. Giger Painting

METRO KINGDOM — Local adventurer Mario Mario is allegedly trapped inside an unsettling painting by modern artist H.R. Giger after…

4 years ago

Review: ‘Assassin’s Creed Valhalla’ Brilliantly Uses Viking Lore to Tell Story of Fatherh—OK I’m Realizing Now I’m Playing ‘God of War’

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla, Ubisoft’s brilliant new adventure in gaming that lets you take on the life of a powerful viking,…

4 years ago