Video Games

Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email AddressDanny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

Danny Ocean Hires Team of Criminal Specialists to Break Into Blizzard Account Made Under His Old Email Address

LAS VEGAS — Master heist organizer Danny Ocean has reportedly gathered a team of top criminals, acrobats, and smooth talkers…

4 years ago
Sony Calls Emergency Meeting With Redditor u/LastofUs1296 After Callout PostSony Calls Emergency Meeting With Redditor u/LastofUs1296 After Callout Post

Sony Calls Emergency Meeting With Redditor u/LastofUs1296 After Callout Post

SAN MATEO, Calif. — Sony Interactive Entertainment scheduled an emergency meeting between their board of directors and u/LastofUs1296, an industry…

4 years ago
Breath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly a Whole AfternoonBreath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly a Whole Afternoon

Breath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly Whole Afternoon

KYOTO, Japan — The recent premiere of footage from the highly anticipated Breath of the Wild 2 entry in the…

4 years ago
Sonic’s Therapist Asks If He’s Ever Considered Slowing DownSonic’s Therapist Asks If He’s Ever Considered Slowing Down

Sonic’s Therapist Asks If He’s Ever Considered Slowing Down

METROPOLIS ZONE — Sonic the Hedgehog has been asked to look inward and understand his deepest and most firmly held…

4 years ago
Nerf CEO Pleads With Gamers to Stop Associating His Company With WeaknessNerf CEO Pleads With Gamers to Stop Associating His Company With Weakness

Nerf CEO Pleads With Gamers to Stop Associating His Company With Weakness

PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner released a video today pleading with gamers to stop using the word “nerf”…

4 years ago
Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves IndividuallyTodd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually

Todd Howard Wishes Bethesda Showcase Were Long Enough to Tell Every Single Playstation Owner to Fuck Themselves Individually

LOS ANGELES — Todd Howard expressed regret that Bethesda’s E3 showcase was only about an hour long, because he would…

4 years ago
Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and OceanDay Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

Day Two Recap: God Creates Clouds and Ocean

LOS ANGELES — Sunday morning kicked off Day Two of E3 with conferences from Microsoft, Square Enix, and Our Lord…

4 years ago
New Patch Fixes Glitch That Made Pen Mightier Than SwordNew Patch Fixes Glitch That Made Pen Mightier Than Sword

New Patch Fixes Glitch That Made Pen Mightier Than Sword

EARTH — Developers of the planet Earth have released a new patch that fixes a thousands-year-old glitch which accidentally made…

4 years ago
E3 Journalist Misses Visceral Thrill of Copying Press Releases in PersonE3 Journalist Misses Visceral Thrill of Copying Press Releases in Person

E3 Journalist Misses Visceral Thrill of Copying Press Releases in Person

SAN FRANCISCO — While covering the online-only E3 2021, video game journalist Shaun Carlson has reportedly missed the excitement of…

4 years ago