Video Games

Here’s Why I Pre-Ordered the Sucker Edition for $2500

If you’re going to be a gamer, you need to know a good deal when you see one. When the…

7 years ago

New Battlefield to Take Place Entirely on Message Board

Having shifted locales recently from World War II to modern times and then going back to World War I, DICE…

7 years ago

Remembering the Time Suge Knight Put Hit on PaRappa the Rappa

Not many people know this, but 20 years ago (during turbulent times in both the hip hop and console scenes)…

7 years ago

How Violent Video Games Taught Me to Remove the Pool Steps and Just Watch Loved Ones Swim Around Endlessly Until They Die

  I didn’t want to do it—I really didn’t. I tried to resolve the communication problems I had with my…

7 years ago

Lara Croft Undergoes Triangle Reduction Surgery

L OS ANGELES — Following decades of suffering, Lara Croft reportedly underwent a successful surgery today to reduce her incredibly large and geometrically…

7 years ago

Girl Who Claims to Like Video Games Grilled for 10 Hours at Senate Hearing

WASHINGTON D.C. — After reportedly stating at a casual gathering of friends that her favorite series was Mass Effect and that…

7 years ago

GameStop Offers $12.38 for Entire Childhood

FRESNO, C.A. — A man hoping to haul in a large sum of cash found his local GameStop was only…

7 years ago

Villain Can’t Remember Why He Hid Key to Dungeon in Woods

UNDERGROUND LAIR, Ang. — Sources confirm everything was going according to the dark prince Dacucard’s wicked plan last night, as he…

7 years ago

Military Tribunal Formally Reprimands Soldier for Teabagging 15 Enemy Combatants

THE HAUGE, Netherlands — In a closed-door trial, military leaders leveled punishment against Sgt. Paul Jackson (aka UberDomed2005) for war…

7 years ago