Video Games

Fortnite Player in Top Ten Without Killing Anyone Unsure if This Counts as Fun

BALTIMORE — After not seeing a single player for the first twenty minutes of a Fortnite match, thereby making it…

7 years ago

Ledge Looks Like You Should Really Be Able to Jump up There

DETROIT — Gamer Harold Bunda wasted over an hour of his life pursuing what appeared to be an accessible area…

7 years ago

If Video Games Make Children More Violent, Why Do They Keep Losing Fistfights Against Me?

All great scientists are called maniacs in their time, and I am no exception.  Is it “crazy” to conduct your…

7 years ago

Girlfriend On Phone Quietly Drops $3,000 for Comfier Chairs in Virtual Restaurant

INDIANAPOLIS – Local girlfriend Stacey Hopkins, currently sitting on the edge of the couch while her boyfriend plays Battlefront II, has…

7 years ago

Burglar Steals Everything But Wii U

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A local burglar, after stealing hundreds of dollars worth of assorted pieces of technology, specifically decided not…

7 years ago

Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the…

7 years ago

Criminal Mastermind Doesn’t Trade Gengar Back After Evolving Him

TULSA, Okla. — 11-year-old Ella May Williams pulled off the “heist of the school year” late last week, sources allege,…

7 years ago

Violent Video Games Argument Receives HD Remaster

WASHINGTON — Fans of recycled arguments rejoiced earlier this week, as President Donald Trump unveiled an updated, high definition remaster…

7 years ago

Cooking Mama Adds Battle Royale Survival Mode

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today via press release the acquisition of the Cooking Mama franchise with the goal to…

7 years ago