Video Games

Favored Derby Horse Vanishes After Adventurer Whistles Two States Away

ADAIR, Okla. — Fans at today’s 114th Kentucky Derby were reportedly confused and terrified as they watched Justify, a favorite…

7 years ago

Sad Incel Doesn’t Get the Hint From Uninterested Girl

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Plumber and noted loner Mario Mario has reportedly missed multiple verbal and nonverbal cues from Princess Peach,…

7 years ago

Shitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro Status

KYOTO, Japan — Executives at Nintendo are reportedly counting the days until their Wii U console, an underwhelming system released…

7 years ago

Terrified MIT Computer Scientists Hide From Roomba Hacked to Run DOOM

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Several graduate students associated with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Media Lab have taken shelter in a…

7 years ago

60-Year-Old Secretary Technically Professional Gamer

COLLEGE STATION, Texas — Administrative official Joan Norman recently celebrated her 30th anniversary working a position at Texas A&M University,…

7 years ago

‘Let’s Jump Right Into It,’ Says YouTuber Eight Minutes Into Tutorial

GLENCOE, Ill. — Seventeen-year-old Twitch streamer and occasional “YouTube Tutorialist” Tucker Ferguson announced to viewers his intention to “jump right…

7 years ago

PUBG Gives Me Hope That I Can Still Be Loved Despite Being Deeply Broken

Many video game journalists wrote this year that PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds was their top game of 2017, and I wholeheartedly agree.…

7 years ago

New Spider-Man Game Probably Won’t Draw From Arc Where Norman Osborn Impregnated Teenager

BURBANK, Calif. — While details are unknown as to which comic books inspired the story for the new PlayStation 4…

7 years ago

Donald Trump Reveals Presidency Actually Nuzlocke Run

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump revealed via a series of tweets this morning that his presidency has been following the…

7 years ago