Video Games

Funky Kong Denies All Allegations Through Lawyer Kong

DONKEY KONG ISLAND — Facing a growing list of charges from the DKPD, professional surfer and entrepreneur Funky Kong issued…

7 years ago

Barcade Galaga Cabinet Hoping to Hear Back About Job at Regular Arcade

CHICAGO — While patrons of local bar and arcade Headquarters Beercade roughly mashed buttons and joysticks late Friday night, Galaga…

7 years ago

Long Tetris Piece Stuck in Traffic on 405

IRVINE, Calif. — Games of Tetris everywhere were held up for hours today as the Long Piece found itself stuck…

7 years ago

Roseanne Barr Honorarily Suspended From Overwatch League

LOS ANGELES — After tweeting a racist comment to her 800,000 followers, Overwatch League has decided to give Roseanne Barr…

7 years ago

Epic Games Releases More Enjoyable Countersuit Against PUBG Corp.

After discovering that they’re being sued by the PUBG Corp. alleging that their smash hit release Fortnite infringed on copyrights…

7 years ago

Bungie Incorporates ‘Masturbate’ Emote Into Destiny 2 so Players Can Truly Go Fuck Themselves

BELLEVUE, Wash. — After intense player demands and complaints, Bungie finally announced a new addition to the Destiny 2 Eververse…

7 years ago

Fans Complain New Swastika-Shaped CS:GO Gun Barrel Lowers Antisemitism Skill Curve

BELLEVUE, Wash. — Some players of the popular first-person shooter Counter Strike: Global Offensive are outraged following a new update…

7 years ago

Gamer Wishes Real Life Was Less Open World

OKLAHOMA CITY — Local gamer Emilie Brockview reportedly told friends that, despite loving open world gameplay in video games, she…

7 years ago

Guitar Hero Controller Relocated From Closet to Garage

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — After years of taking up space inside the back of his living room closet, 29-year-old Adam Parker…

7 years ago