Video Games

Beware: If We Make Minimum Wage $15 Then People Won’t Need Two Jobs, Meaning They’ll Have Leisure Time, Meaning There Will Be More Gamers

The national debate over minimum wage has raged on in the United States ever since President Biden made it an…

4 years ago

New York City Council Votes on Placement of Huge Booster Ramp to Decrease Traffic

NEW YORK — Tempers flared at city hall today as both sides made their opinions known about the potential addition…

4 years ago

Man Who Wasted Youth Playing Video Games Vows To Waste Old Age Playing Video Games

BOSTON — Resolving to himself that things in his life would be exactly the same as they used to be…

4 years ago

Gamer Sits Through Credits of Game to Memorize Names of 300 QA Testers

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Respectfully ignoring the opportunity to press the X button and skip the entire sequence, local gamer…

4 years ago

Biden Clarifies That $2,000 Check Will Be Next-Gen Upgrade in Late 2021

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Responding to criticism over his planned $1,400 stimulus check, President-elect Joe Biden clarified that a full $2,000…

4 years ago

Guy Who Takes 4,000 Photos of His Cat Year Doesn’t Understand Appeal of Pokémon Snap

NEW YORK — Local gamer Jared Kalashnik reportedly told friends today that he just cannot understand the appeal of Pokémon…

4 years ago

CD Projekt Red Relieved to Have Only Second-Worst Rollout of the Past Year

WARSAW — Executives at CD Projekt Red breathed a sigh of relief as the disastrous launch of Cyberpunk 2077 dropped…

4 years ago

Sony Schedules PS5 Drop for Precise Moment Local Man Looks Away From Screen

POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Aspiring PS5 owner John Blatzby has reportedly found some consistency in Sony’s seemingly random PS5 drops, claiming…

4 years ago

No One at Mario’s High School Reunion Sure What He’s Talking About

GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating…

4 years ago