Video Games

Mass Effect Devs Compromise With Angry Gamers by Giving Commander Shepard Gigantic, Juicy Balls

EDMONTON — BioWare has announced a compromise for Mass Effect fans upset about the removal of various butt shots in…

4 years ago

Mobile Gamer Discovers 16-Digit Cheat Code

HARTFORD, Conn. — Local mobile gamer Jeremy Jackson has drastically improved his performance in gacha game Legend of the Bravest…

4 years ago

Roguelike Genre Purist Hopes Someone Will Develop Roguelike Someday

SPOKANE, Wash. — Gamer and self-proclaimed roguelike genre purist Noreen Ramirez, hot off the heels of her tenth no-hit run…

4 years ago

CD Projekt Red Pleads With Hackers for Three More Weeks to Meet Demands

WARSAW — Following a data breach that reportedly involved internal documents and sensitive personal information, game developers CD Projekt Red…

4 years ago

Hades Player Horny for Every Character Might Just Be Horny

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A new study released by researchers at St. Joseph’s College has revealed that Hades players who are…

4 years ago

Mass Effect: Legendary Edition Adds Advisory for Outdated, Offensive Portrayal of Ass

EDMONTON — Following negative responses to their initial statement, a Bioware press release has revealed their new decision to imprint…

4 years ago

Why We’re Replacing Review Scores With Photo of Either an Approving or Disapproving Parent

As any self-respecting video game review reader knows, reviewing video games is really hard work and nothing hurts more than…

4 years ago

Nintendo: Mario Will No Longer Come Back to Life Starting Next Week

KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot,…

4 years ago

Sony Accidentally Vaporizes Demonstrator in Showcase of PS5’s Technical Power

NEW YORK — CEO of Sony Interactive Entertainment Jim Ryan accidentally vaporized intern Kris Smythe in a livestream demonstration of…

4 years ago