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ad, advertisement, facebook, fake, mobile, social media, torrent

ATLANTA — According to several users of file downloading services and illegal streaming sites, an advertisement featuring a buxom CGI woman with the caption “You’re Allowed To Do Anything You Want In This Game!” makes a pretty disrespectful assumption about what you want to do in this game.

Josh Olson, a patron of YouTube download service FilesToGo.net, felt unfairly targeted given his online activity.

“Look, it’s a pretty broad generalization to assume anyone trying to download an mp3 would want to play a sex pervert video game,” protested Olson. “It’s like, I’m just trying to put the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme song over a dumb-looking picture of my brother. I didn’t ask for this. This is not what I want to do in this game.”

Ari Kim, a regular visitor of TorrentIsland.biz, took issue with the implications of the ad’s caption.

“Really, interactive porn grifter? I’m allowed to do ANYTHING I want in this game?” probed Kim. “Can I travel the world? Can I achieve self-actualization? Or do you assume that my imagination only extends as far as touching a cartoon boob? Because I’ll do that too, but there’s a lot of other shit I want!”

Kyle Anderson, who encountered the ad on FreeMoviesRiteNow.website, set clear boundaries about when she expects to see an ad of that nature.

“As soon as I start browsing a porn site, I have accepted that I am about to subject myself to all manner of depraved, cursed advertisements,” clarified Anderson. “But anywhere else on the internet, I am not mentally prepared to have uncanny valley tiddies shoved in my face.” 

“I’m just a normal human being trying to watch Celeste and Jesse Forever for free,” she added. “This is uncalled for.”

Sean Gorton, head of ad sales for mp4-studio.videofun.ru, defended the integrity of the ad.

“The weird creepy suggestive video game ad absolutely holds up to the quality standards our users have learned to expect,” argued Gorton. “It stands proudly alongside the 17 fake download buttons we slap on the site, an erroneous notification that claims your Mac needs to be scanned for junk files, and ‘Congratulations, You’ve Won An iPod Touch!’”

At press time, the users quoted in this article were intrigued to learn that there are hot singles in their area waiting to bang.

Check out our comedy podcast The Video Game Super Show! Show, in which two of our editors watch and discuss every episode of  1989’s Captain N: The Game Master: