DIMEBOX, Texas — As she attempted to locate another power supply that’s actually still in regular rotation, local gamer Willoughby Turner quickly realized that her 3DS charger has made her “cord drawer” an absolute nightmare to navigate.
“You’d think dumping a bunch of cords into a single drawer and then forgetting about it until you need one of them would make life easier,” lamented Turner as she dug through the seemingly endless mire of wires. “But here I am, with no end in sight, and no way to tell where one obsolete cord ends and the next begins.”
Turner, who has not organized the drawer since she established it in 2011, is consistently shocked and dismayed every time she tries to extract a cord from the drawer — only to discover that they are all hopelessly intertwined.
“Is this a USB to MicroUSB cord? Nope, that’s still the 3DS charger,” despaired Turner out loud, to no one in particular. “Is this a Toshiba Hard Drive power supply? Oh wait no that’s still the fucking DS charger.”
Turner’s roommate, Emily Holmes, offered a solution.
“I think she should just take the charger out of the drawer,” Holmes said. “I mean, I have never once seen her actually use it, but I’ve seen her rifling through that hellscape of cables too many times to count.”
Turner balked at the suggestion.
“What, you want me to put the charger in storage just because I never use the device it is for?” scoffed Turner. “Well then, I suppose that means I’ll have to squirrel away all the accessories of my PS Vita, Game Boy Advance SP, and Gizmondo too!”
At press time, Turner realized that she does not know the location of her 3DS.
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