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accessories, D&D, DICE, dnd, dungeons and dragons, figurines, models

ATLANTA — New Dungeons and Dragons enthusiast Clarissa Elliotte reportedly bought $50 worth of accessories after playing her first session of the tabletop roleplaying game.

“Now that I’m a D&D player, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to go all in on a few sets of cool dice,” Elliotte said to friends in their discord chat approximately fifteen minutes after their first session completed. “I gotta make sure I have the player handbook ready at all times and I hate wasting paper by printing a PDF, so I’ll make sure to grab that. Plus, I feel such a strong connection to my character, I just feel like I have to buy a little model for her. And I know I’m not the DM, but you never know when a white board battle grid will come in handy!”

Elliotte’s friends and fellow party members expressed concern over her spending habits, according to those familiar with the situation.

“I would never want to gatekeep one of my friends, but let’s be real; there’s a pretty good chance we’ll never play another session of this game,” said the group’s DM Maria Ward. “I don’t say this to be mean or to judge Clarissa. I say this as someone who has several figures of several D&D characters that turned out to just be one shots because everyone got busy all of the sudden. D&D has been a very costly adventure for me, but at least all my figures can be friends on my bookshelf.”

As of press time, Elliotte was reportedly immune to criticism because she was busy changing all of her social media icons to images from the game Hades after playing her first round of it.

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