December 13, 2017 6 Years Ago I Decided to Invest in Either Bitcoin or Magic Cards and Now I’m Looking to Sell My Deck 6 Years Ago I Decided to Invest in Either Bitcoin or Magic Cards and Now I’m Looking to Sell My Deck As you have no doubt heard by now, Bitcoin prices are soaring up to $18,000, making many early adopters very, very rich. Six years ago,…
November 28, 2017 Minor With 10 Charisma Buys Alcohol Minor With 10 Charisma Buys Alcohol DENVER — Sources have reported that slick-talking seventeen-year-old, Marty Johnson, went into a grocery store and used his high charisma rating to purchase alcohol for…
November 20, 2017 Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial Where Are They Now? The Child Banished to Hell at the End of the Crossfire Commercial FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Every ’90s kid remembers the classic commercial for the board game Crossfire: Two leather-clad children ride over-sized game pieces into…
November 10, 2017 Sony Approves Settlers of Catan Movie Budget of 8,000 Wood, 9,000 Sheep, 4,000 Ore, 5,000 Wheat, 9,000 Brick Sony Approves Settlers of Catan Movie Budget of 8,000 Wood, 9,000 Sheep, 4,000 Ore, 5,000 Wheat, 9,000 Brick LOS ANGELES — Sony has approved a substantial budget for the upcoming Settlers of Catan movie, after much deliberation over sheep, wood, ore, wheat, and…
September 22, 2017 Cards Against Humanity Shoves Magic: The Gathering Into Locker Cards Against Humanity Shoves Magic: The Gathering Into Locker HIGHLAND PARK, Ill.— Highland Park High School was rocked today by an appalling act of violence when Cards Against Humanity shoved Magic: The Gathering into…
September 20, 2017 Group Finally Schedules Conversation about How Much Fun It Would Be to Play D&D Some Time Group Finally Schedules Conversation about How Much Fun It Would Be to Play D&D Some Time BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Zack Borman and a few of his friends were able to set aside a few hours, after months of scheduling conflicts and…
August 8, 2017 World Champion Hearthstone Player Defeated by IBM’s Super-Powered Random Number Generator World Champion Hearthstone Player Defeated by IBM’s Super-Powered Random Number Generator LAS VEGAS — Reigning Hearthstone champion Pavel Beltukov lost a face off against IBM’s super-powered hearthstone-playing random number generator today, in what is being called…
August 3, 2017 Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats Newborn Baby Has Terrible Stats VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. — Fred and Maria Owens were severely disappointed to discover their newborn baby has absolutely terrible stats after being delivered in a…
August 1, 2017 D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy D&D Group Overthrows Dungeon Master in Favor of Dungeon Democracy DECATUR, Ga. — A local Dungeons & Dragons collective has ousted their overreaching despot today, in what is being reported as a populist coup. In…
